(no subject)

[owlectomy]

I am amused, and very much in need of something to amuse me. Note that I don't expect anyone to get any of these, except possibly Meaghan.

1) I should've figured out early on that you were just going to lead me on and lead me on forever, but the only reason I didn't keep following you all the way down is that our lives got too busy and our schedules didn't mesh. So I got to watch you go down from afar, and it's kind of a relief, because I can mostly remember the good times without the bad times getting in the way. Wish I could say I remembered you with fondness, but it's tinged with embarrassment that you strung me on for as long as you did.

2) I think maybe I was more in love with the idea of you than with you. Every so often you would bring me flowers and convince me that I was right about the sheer wonderfulness of you, but mostly we just sat on the couch watching TV and making out. But I've still got a soft spot for you in my heart, for the occasional moments of surpassing sweetness and for all the people you introduced me to later on.

3) Oh, you with your black turtleneck and your beat poetry, you thought you were so smart. And you convinced everybody of it, too, myself included. I've got a feeling that if I got too close again I'd think your poetry was dumb, and honestly, I prefer remembering you as that brilliant deep distant guy.

4) You were actually as smart and stylish and interesting as you looked, and I would follow you around forever because of it. You're the one to grin at me and convince me, just by grinning at me, that maybe I could learn a foreign language or start going to the gym or grow up to be somebody good. And if we don't see each other as much any more, maybe it's because I felt vaguely guilty for not holding up my end of that--but I still treasure it.

5) You showed up at that time when I was naive and inexperienced and would've walked off with anyone who batted his eyes at me right, but somehow you never let me down for trusting you. You were soft, fluffy. You smiled like you would never ever let anything bad happen to me. And what's more, even when you did let bad stuff happen, somehow you made it okay. You made it make sense. And selfishly, I'm still real glad that I don't have to share you with the whole world, and I can think of you as just mine.

6) Okay, I'll admit it--I took advantage of you. I needed you, and you were there, cheap and musician-sexy and available. And I have to admit, too, that I don't care enough to make the effort to keep us together any more. Besides which, you were starting to run around in circles and repeat the same lines. But we had some good times, right?

7) You were older than me, and I knew right from the start that you were going to treat me bad. Maybe I didn't care; maybe I wanted to be treating bad. But I kept pushing you away, and crawling back to you, and pushing you away, and crawling back to you. It was a little bit much and I'm glad that all that's over now, because it really really isn't the kind of thing that you'd want to sustain long-term, but when it was good? Whew, was it good.

8) Age difference be darned--as well as the fact that you'd been round the block several times before--it was love at first sight. You were cool, you were bold, you were smart. You were given to grand romantic gestures, and you agreed with all my opinions. But lately, I don't know, something's changed. It's like your heart isn't in it any more. Maybe it's me, not you. I still like you and everything; I'm not going to give up on you; I just wish it could be like it used to be.

Comments

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

1) is any shounen series I can name off the top of my head
5) Matendo Sonata
7) Kaze to Ki?

[takumashii.livejournal.com]

Yes on 5 and 7. Not #1; I was fortunate enough to be warned about shounen series and lower my expectations accordingly.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Then, lessee- Yami no Matsuei? And what about Angel Sanctuary for 3? though I never thought you an AS kind of person.

[takumashii.livejournal.com]

X-Files. Waaay back when.

One of the things that attracted me to anime is that idea that they didn't have to drag things out for eight seasons, they could finish it at 26 episodes and solve their mysteries and provide a payoff to mysteriously dropped hints. Oh, little did I know...

AS is awfully close. I got through the first couple volumes with increasing bewilderment, and decided to put it away until I could read better, and then the series ended and all the fans were outraged about the ending, and at that point I thought why bother? I couldn't afford to waste money on a series that long unless it had a decent ending. I think it was one of those series I killed off by reading the last volume in a manga cafe just to tie up the loose ends.

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. Utena then for 3? No, wait- not- *surely* not- something CLAMP? Tokyo Babylon? No, *surely* not... (That's 6 and X, right?)