I'm going to be embarrassed if this turns into a "how not to cook" series.

[owlectomy]

How not to make penne with butter

1. Put a large quantity of water in your pot and put it on the stove. Turn the heat to high.
2. Start reinstalling Windows on your computer.
3. Gee, it's hot in here. I wonder why it's hot in here. The air conditioner says 82! Is there something wrong with the AC?
4. Why does it smell like marshmallows toasting? Maybe there IS something wrong with the air conditioner! Turn off the air conditioner.
4a. Fail at reinstalling Windows.
5. And now the fire alarm is going off? WTF, why is the fire alarm going off?
6. Oh hey look over there! I have a pot of water boiling.
7. I HAD a pot of water boiling.
8. Darn.
8a. Reinstall Ubuntu.
9. Order pizza.

Comments

[flemmings.livejournal.com]

One learns too late the basic rule: never leave anything cooking on the stove. Stay. Watch it. Be mindfully in the moment until it's done. Some people are always aware that there's a POT with FIRE ***BURNING*** underneath it, even if they go to another room, but the introverts of the world are more likley to be the other kind.

[takumashii.livejournal.com]

Yes. Lesson learned.

The really sad thing is that, it being a studio apartment, I wasn't more than a couple of steps away from the stove, with a direct line of sight to it, but that's what comes of trying to install Windows.

[hapaxnym.livejournal.com]

Penne: Melt large lump of butter in a large saute pan over high heat. Put penne (uncooked) in same pan, stirring until nicely brown. Pour in one to two cups of white whine, keep stirring to absorbed. Slowly pour in chicken broth* (about the same amount) into pan until it boils, then keep stirring until absorbed. Then keep add water, stirring, until pasta stops absorbing it. Maybe 20 minutes?

Add this point, add about half a cup of cream, stirring, until just hot. Or a can of tomato sauce, ditto. (Probably not both). Add in whatever vegetable or shrimp or whatever you've been sauteeing on the side. (I like red pepper, onion, and mushrooms sauteed in olive oil and garlic)

Easy, simple, cheap, and quick. Does not mix well with installing Windows.

*or veggie broth, if you're so inclined