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I got comfortable doing storytimes a lot sooner than I expected. Thanks in part to my excellent colleagues doing a lot of hand-holding, I was well-prepared the first few times I had to do it, and... the more comfortable I got doing storytimes, the better I did, because I didn't have my nerves working against me (quite so much). And the better I got, the more comfortable I got. Good feedback loop.
It's sort of the same way with social interactions. I used to be extremely socially anxious. And I still am to some extent, but this weekend I went out for dinner with people I knew online! And I asked someone for directions! And--I feel like I'm doing better, because I've had enough good experiences to get a little more comfortable, and when I'm a little more comfortable I'm better at being properly sociable.
Of course... there's also a feedback loop in the opposite direction, where the more nervous you get the worse you do, and the worse you do the more nervous you get. Or the housekeeping one, where the worse my apartment looks, the less motivated I am to clean it. That's REAL fun.
It can go either way. And that, I think, is the point that well-meaning people don't get when they tell you to just get out there and do things as a cure for depression or social anxiety or what have you. You also need some way of getting off the bad feedback loop. (For me? It took a lot of sticking myself in situations where I could be 99% sure nothing bad would happen. And I actually think that's worked out fairly well.
Ooooh, my tax refund check came. Now I gotta do my state taxes... so, do I buy a new bike, or just stick it in savings?
It's sort of the same way with social interactions. I used to be extremely socially anxious. And I still am to some extent, but this weekend I went out for dinner with people I knew online! And I asked someone for directions! And--I feel like I'm doing better, because I've had enough good experiences to get a little more comfortable, and when I'm a little more comfortable I'm better at being properly sociable.
Of course... there's also a feedback loop in the opposite direction, where the more nervous you get the worse you do, and the worse you do the more nervous you get. Or the housekeeping one, where the worse my apartment looks, the less motivated I am to clean it. That's REAL fun.
It can go either way. And that, I think, is the point that well-meaning people don't get when they tell you to just get out there and do things as a cure for depression or social anxiety or what have you. You also need some way of getting off the bad feedback loop. (For me? It took a lot of sticking myself in situations where I could be 99% sure nothing bad would happen. And I actually think that's worked out fairly well.
Ooooh, my tax refund check came. Now I gotta do my state taxes... so, do I buy a new bike, or just stick it in savings?