Fear

[owlectomy]

I will need to work harder if I am going to have a finished draft by Sometime In October.

One of the things I keep coming back to is Merlin Mann's essay on Fake Rocks, Salami Commanders, and Just Enough To Start.

Well, at least in my experience, if you’re honest enough to push past those sensible, well-worn consolations of generalized procrastination and unrelenting “busy-ness,” you’ll discover how many hang-ups trace back to some dumb, shameful fear.

The trouble with the internet is that you don't ever have to be truly bored.

The internet turns creativity into a long-term, every-day contest of "Cake or Fear?" and somehow despite that we keep trying to choose fear. Not always succeeding but trying.

And it's very easy to hear that if you're distractable, if you procrastinate, if you keep checking your e-mail and Twitter, it's because you don't care enough. Obviously if you cared enough you would be doing it, right?

Nope.

As long as you're doing something else, the work you should be doing can get routed to the Somebody Else's Problem filter. Doing the work doesn't just mean doing the work; it means confronting the questions of "Can I do this?" "Is there any point to doing this?" "What if I can't do this?" and the fear you get is the fear that makes you completely unable to sit down in front of a blank page. So, stressing out about how I don't care enough is, shockingly, not helpful!

But -- it may help to remember that the patter in one's head of, "Hey, I could do some Facebook games, hey, I could check my RSS, I've still got lots of time today" is not useful information about what my options are, but noise about what I'm afraid of.

Comments

[littlebutfierce]

Oooh, I like that essay--thanks for the link.

Fear of Sucking is, like, my life. Ha.

But -- it may help to remember that the patter in one's head of, "Hey, I could do some Facebook games, hey, I could check my RSS, I've still got lots of time today" is not useful information about what my options are, but noise about what I'm afraid of.

Wise words indeed.

[were_duck]

This really struck a chord for me, thanks. It's so true of my experience of procrastination.

[raanve]

I love that Mann essay.

I just linked to this entry from my DW, because you are speaking truth here and it is kind of awesome that this is just the truth I needed to hear right now. So thank you!

The Fear is really, really hard to face down. I think I've been working on how to go about doing that for a while, now. I think I'm about ready to stop thinking about how to do it and just start doing it.

[stephanieburgis.livejournal.com]

The internet turns creativity into a long-term, every-day contest of "Cake or Fear?" and somehow despite that we keep trying to choose fear. Not always succeeding but trying.

YES. I really, really love the way you put this. Thank you!

[takumashii.livejournal.com]

Trust me, it's absolutely possible to be MORE afraid after publishing a book... there are more people who are expecting things from you. The stakes feel like they're higher. Am I enjoying it, too? Oh, sure! Definitely! But there is a thing where I can sit down to write and suddenly feel like there's something else I desperately need to be doing...