![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
owlectomy1. Check clock. It is 9:00 and you have not yet eaten supper.
2. Fill your saucepan with water, add some salt, put it on the burner.
3. When water boils, add fettuccine. It does not fit in the pot because you don't actually have a pot larger than 3 quarts. Wait for the ends of the fettuccine to soften in the boiling water, then use a fork to squish down the tops of the fettuccine. Ponder whether to buy a new pasta pot, or to cook smaller pasta shapes from now on.
4. When all of your pasta is boiling, check your cookbook for a recipe for alfredo sauce. Begin to melt some butter in a pan.
5. Ask yourself, "Eggs? Am I really supposed to add eggs? Won't they scramble?"
6. Add eggs and cream to the pan anyway.
7. Whisk! Whisk like the wind!
8. Retrieve colander from under the sink. Check pasta for doneness (it's not done yet).
9. Check sauce. It has indeed begun to scramble. Turn off the heat and whisk madly.
10. As sauce becomes sauce again, ask yourself, "How will I know if the eggs are cooked adequately, or are they going to give me salmonella?"
11. Check pasta for doneness. Drain. Toss with sauce.
12. Eat with salt, black pepper, and deliciousness. The failure mode of fettuccine alfredo is still better than it deserves to be.
2. Fill your saucepan with water, add some salt, put it on the burner.
3. When water boils, add fettuccine. It does not fit in the pot because you don't actually have a pot larger than 3 quarts. Wait for the ends of the fettuccine to soften in the boiling water, then use a fork to squish down the tops of the fettuccine. Ponder whether to buy a new pasta pot, or to cook smaller pasta shapes from now on.
4. When all of your pasta is boiling, check your cookbook for a recipe for alfredo sauce. Begin to melt some butter in a pan.
5. Ask yourself, "Eggs? Am I really supposed to add eggs? Won't they scramble?"
6. Add eggs and cream to the pan anyway.
7. Whisk! Whisk like the wind!
8. Retrieve colander from under the sink. Check pasta for doneness (it's not done yet).
9. Check sauce. It has indeed begun to scramble. Turn off the heat and whisk madly.
10. As sauce becomes sauce again, ask yourself, "How will I know if the eggs are cooked adequately, or are they going to give me salmonella?"
11. Check pasta for doneness. Drain. Toss with sauce.
12. Eat with salt, black pepper, and deliciousness. The failure mode of fettuccine alfredo is still better than it deserves to be.
Tags: