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5/2/15 21:11There is a concept that's been useful to me lately: The Person In My Head Who Eats Like Gwyneth Paltrow.
There is a part of me that's convinced that I am absolutely capable of living exclusively on things like quinoa and kale and beet juice. And there are obstacles to that ranging from "My kitchen is small and cluttered" to "I don't have a huge amount of time to cook" to "I don't want to." And every once in a while I have to remind myself that I am beating myself with some ridiculous imaginary person; and that it is certainly not impossible for me to Eat Like Gwyneth Paltrow, but the time and energy and money to do that don't materialize out of thin air, they're going to cannibalize something else.
And if I wanted to change the way I ate, it would have to start with the acknowledgement that Person In My Head Who Eats Like Gwyneth Paltrow is not a useful comparison or starting point.
It's the same way with writing: I would really, really like to write about 90 minutes a day, every day. I could get so much done! I would have time to write a new novel, and rewrite the one I finished, and the other one, and write some short fiction on the side! But, like: there is a reason I'm not writing 90 minutes every day now. And I can change that. (I am getting more done than I used to; I'm less scared than I used to be, which means less procrastination!) But letting go of the fantasy of superproductivity is the true beginning of that, because it means that I can just get on with another 20-minute writing session, instead of spending that time and more getting mad at myself for not writing for 90 minutes.
There is a part of me that's convinced that I am absolutely capable of living exclusively on things like quinoa and kale and beet juice. And there are obstacles to that ranging from "My kitchen is small and cluttered" to "I don't have a huge amount of time to cook" to "I don't want to." And every once in a while I have to remind myself that I am beating myself with some ridiculous imaginary person; and that it is certainly not impossible for me to Eat Like Gwyneth Paltrow, but the time and energy and money to do that don't materialize out of thin air, they're going to cannibalize something else.
And if I wanted to change the way I ate, it would have to start with the acknowledgement that Person In My Head Who Eats Like Gwyneth Paltrow is not a useful comparison or starting point.
It's the same way with writing: I would really, really like to write about 90 minutes a day, every day. I could get so much done! I would have time to write a new novel, and rewrite the one I finished, and the other one, and write some short fiction on the side! But, like: there is a reason I'm not writing 90 minutes every day now. And I can change that. (I am getting more done than I used to; I'm less scared than I used to be, which means less procrastination!) But letting go of the fantasy of superproductivity is the true beginning of that, because it means that I can just get on with another 20-minute writing session, instead of spending that time and more getting mad at myself for not writing for 90 minutes.