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26/9/14 23:28Thing that I only just realized (yes really):
I thought that I was really down because of what was going on with my book and publishing stuff, but actually, I was really down for lots of other reasons too, and I ended up pinning a lot of hope on publishing as, like, the One Thing That Could Save Me from things like toxic workplaces and bad landlords, so every time I failed with the publishing stuff I felt like I was failing with everything.
And I'm not going to say that I'm over that, because I'm not, but I sort of feel better about whacking at toxic workplaces and bad landlords from other angles (besides 'be very rich so that I don't have to deal with them'). And that makes everything else just a little bit lower-stakes.
I thought that I was really down because of what was going on with my book and publishing stuff, but actually, I was really down for lots of other reasons too, and I ended up pinning a lot of hope on publishing as, like, the One Thing That Could Save Me from things like toxic workplaces and bad landlords, so every time I failed with the publishing stuff I felt like I was failing with everything.
And I'm not going to say that I'm over that, because I'm not, but I sort of feel better about whacking at toxic workplaces and bad landlords from other angles (besides 'be very rich so that I don't have to deal with them'). And that makes everything else just a little bit lower-stakes.