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1/3/11 22:11I have decided that I no longer believe in those who mock people for being too passionate and too vulnerable, too willing to put their hearts out in the open (even all the murky parts you'd really rather not see.)
I no longer believe in those who criticize people for overthinking, or who criticize everything in the world for being trite and obvious. (There are some things that are trite and obvious. There are also people who seem to exist only to point out trite and obvious things, and how they thought of them a lot earlier, and didn't need to paint a billboard with it. No, they just need to paint a billboard saying THAT OTHER BILLBOARD IS TRITE AND OBVIOUS).
And when I say I don't believe, I don't mean like you don't believe in lying or wearing white after labor day.
I mean like you don't believe in Santa Claus.
It is hard to live in this world with an open heart.
I think that's where a lot of hostility comes from, honestly -- resentment that someone else has said the terrible true thing that you haven't allowed yourself to say, or think, or feel. That's when people get defensive and convince themselves that everyone should just shut up about those terrible true things.
On Metafilter today someone posted a blog post from an Orthodox Jewish woman, who was 40 and single and had never had sex, and everyone was very sad that religion had cut her off from human connections etc etc etc. And, without knowing any specific details of this particular situation, it was frustrating to me because more and more it seems like the culture there is about jumping on anything that is vulnerable or overly earnest and trying to proclaim yourself better than it. And... it just seems to me that that is cutting yourself off from human connections, as much as anything to do with sex.
It's hard to live in this world with an open heart.
I no longer believe in those who criticize people for overthinking, or who criticize everything in the world for being trite and obvious. (There are some things that are trite and obvious. There are also people who seem to exist only to point out trite and obvious things, and how they thought of them a lot earlier, and didn't need to paint a billboard with it. No, they just need to paint a billboard saying THAT OTHER BILLBOARD IS TRITE AND OBVIOUS).
And when I say I don't believe, I don't mean like you don't believe in lying or wearing white after labor day.
I mean like you don't believe in Santa Claus.
It is hard to live in this world with an open heart.
I think that's where a lot of hostility comes from, honestly -- resentment that someone else has said the terrible true thing that you haven't allowed yourself to say, or think, or feel. That's when people get defensive and convince themselves that everyone should just shut up about those terrible true things.
On Metafilter today someone posted a blog post from an Orthodox Jewish woman, who was 40 and single and had never had sex, and everyone was very sad that religion had cut her off from human connections etc etc etc. And, without knowing any specific details of this particular situation, it was frustrating to me because more and more it seems like the culture there is about jumping on anything that is vulnerable or overly earnest and trying to proclaim yourself better than it. And... it just seems to me that that is cutting yourself off from human connections, as much as anything to do with sex.
It's hard to live in this world with an open heart.