(no subject)

Really, you want to read the whole thing, but this is the relevant section.

>give manuscript to group

The Critique Group examines your manuscript, then bursts into mass cacophony. Yelling about “flat characters” and “implausible setting,” the group tears your manuscript to pieces and leaves nothing but a Harsh But Insightful Critique in its place. “It’s got promise,” they say as they wander off. “But it really needs work.”
You take 99 points of ego damage!
Your manuscript is in shreds!
Continue? Y/N
Continue? Y/N
Continue? Y/N

>y

You have leveled up!

>wtf

You have received a harsh but insightful critique! You have chosen to continue! You have leveled up!

>ok whatever

Thought you’d feel that way.

>eat snacks

They’re tasty, but strangely unfulfilling.

>look crit

It’s got a lot of good points. In fact, it seems to catch all the stuff you were worried about when you wrote it. Some of it sounds like your Inner Editor.
As you read the crit, the door to the north swings open.

>go n

You go north.
You are in a small, cramped room. Dim light filters through cracks in the ceiling.
There is a Revision here. It snarls and grins at you, sharpening its claws.

>ohshit

It doesn’t seem to be attacking you.

>cower

The Revision stays put.

>clean house

Your house gets marginally cleaner.
The Revision gets bigger.

>blog

You post to the Internet about your plight.
The Revision gets bigger.

>wax furniture

The Revision gets bigger.

>wax cat

The Revision gets bigger. And uglier.

>write long involved joke about the writing process in the format of an infocom text adventure

Let’s not be silly now.

>attack revision

You attack the Revision! It immediately looks smaller — not nearly so bad as you thought. It’s still pretty bad, though.
The Revision defends with Your Beautiful Deathless Prose. Your attack slides off and does no damage.

(no subject)

Canadians are not "your friends to the north."

It is nice that we have a non-militarized border, though it was nicer when you could go from one to the other without a passport.

But we are in fact your sworn enemies to the north. Sorry, I've been working on the ninja book. It's just that... I've heard that particular epithet SO much, to the point where you actually start thinking about it too hard, you know what I mean?

It's presumptuous. No particular Canadian is actually your friend, unless, you know, a particular Canadian is actually your friend.* And there's just a certain "Aren't you adorable!" to it that grates.

*And, if you're reading this, that's quite likely! But Canadians as a class are still not your friends to the north.