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15/4/08 21:37I think I need more of an anxiety margin in my life.
I mean, I look askance at people who are yelling on the train because it's delayed for a couple of minutes, because I would allow for that sort of thing and leave a few minutes early. And I look askance at people who are bothered that the Friday direct deposit doesn't show up until Friday evening - if you need it Friday morning, you're cutting it really close (and yes, I have been down to $20 in my checking account before, but still.) Obviously I'm speaking from a position where I can afford the time and the money; still, the basic principle is, if you're okay as long as nothing goes wrong, you're not actually okay.
And yet that's how I've been dealing with stress. I'm living way out on the margin where sometimes it only takes three things going wrong before I can't deal with it any more. (Bad doctor? Can deal. Pharmacy makes me wait six hours? Can deal. Insurance doesn't cover it? Can't deal.) And that is not enough.
Maybe I need to start putting myself to bed at a reasonable hour.
I mean, I look askance at people who are yelling on the train because it's delayed for a couple of minutes, because I would allow for that sort of thing and leave a few minutes early. And I look askance at people who are bothered that the Friday direct deposit doesn't show up until Friday evening - if you need it Friday morning, you're cutting it really close (and yes, I have been down to $20 in my checking account before, but still.) Obviously I'm speaking from a position where I can afford the time and the money; still, the basic principle is, if you're okay as long as nothing goes wrong, you're not actually okay.
And yet that's how I've been dealing with stress. I'm living way out on the margin where sometimes it only takes three things going wrong before I can't deal with it any more. (Bad doctor? Can deal. Pharmacy makes me wait six hours? Can deal. Insurance doesn't cover it? Can't deal.) And that is not enough.
Maybe I need to start putting myself to bed at a reasonable hour.