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1) I know that I wouldn't be giving this so much headspace if it weren't for the week I've had at work, and my anxiety over my upcoming performance review. In short: I think there is quite a good chance that I'll get the "this isn't working out" speech. It's not that I'm bad at my job, but... one, I'm just not extroverted enough to be "on" all the time (this is an understatement); two, there's no way that I can be both a YA librarian and the computer police; three, a library even as small as this one needs a children's librarian who is not a total newbie. And I'm sure they could've gotten someone more qualified if they hadn't originally posted this position as a part-time one. So I will try to be patient and wait until this blows over before I decide anything more definite.
2) I think I may have decided against getting a Ph.D. in the short and medium term after reminding myself just how lousy job prospects are in the humanities. I will try to confirm this--but I've been thinking for a while that a Ph.D. is something I'd rather do when I'm 35 or so. One reason is that I'd rather study premodern Japan than modern, and I'd need the time to develop some l33t language skills.
3) I've looked into UBC and ... I am so, so tempted. It's really cheap, it's in Canada, and it's one of the best premodern Japan departments in the world. That's like the trifecta. And I may have an in on some cheap housing if I'm willing to put up with an endless commute. Which I am, if there's public transportation. If I could get my MA and get into academic librarianship...that'd be a lot of the stuff I like about public librarianship, but with less computer policing and less public contact. (I am not such an introvert that public contact is a bad thing, but seven hours a day feels like a lot). I do kind of love helping little old ladies with their photocopies and their computers and I love storytime and I love it when children are enthusiastic about books and reading, and...I mean, I know I'd be giving up a lot.
But I often get the feeling that I'm not doing myself or anyone else any favors by staying in this job.
For now I'm going to give it a little time and hope it blows over.
2) I think I may have decided against getting a Ph.D. in the short and medium term after reminding myself just how lousy job prospects are in the humanities. I will try to confirm this--but I've been thinking for a while that a Ph.D. is something I'd rather do when I'm 35 or so. One reason is that I'd rather study premodern Japan than modern, and I'd need the time to develop some l33t language skills.
3) I've looked into UBC and ... I am so, so tempted. It's really cheap, it's in Canada, and it's one of the best premodern Japan departments in the world. That's like the trifecta. And I may have an in on some cheap housing if I'm willing to put up with an endless commute. Which I am, if there's public transportation. If I could get my MA and get into academic librarianship...that'd be a lot of the stuff I like about public librarianship, but with less computer policing and less public contact. (I am not such an introvert that public contact is a bad thing, but seven hours a day feels like a lot). I do kind of love helping little old ladies with their photocopies and their computers and I love storytime and I love it when children are enthusiastic about books and reading, and...I mean, I know I'd be giving up a lot.
But I often get the feeling that I'm not doing myself or anyone else any favors by staying in this job.
For now I'm going to give it a little time and hope it blows over.