A series of unfortunate events, cont.

I put the kettle on for oatmeal and went back to the computer to check my e-mail; when I returned to the kitchen soon after, it took a few minutes for me to process that my kitchen counter was on fire. It took me a few more minutes to process that I should do something about it, whereupon I found a glass measuring cup and upturned it over the fire until it snuffed itself out.

I haven't lost anything except my security deposit, so I'll be grateful for that. But I must check my smoke alarm to make sure it actually works.