(no subject)

[owlectomy]

Thing that I only just realized (yes really):

I thought that I was really down because of what was going on with my book and publishing stuff, but actually, I was really down for lots of other reasons too, and I ended up pinning a lot of hope on publishing as, like, the One Thing That Could Save Me from things like toxic workplaces and bad landlords, so every time I failed with the publishing stuff I felt like I was failing with everything.

And I'm not going to say that I'm over that, because I'm not, but I sort of feel better about whacking at toxic workplaces and bad landlords from other angles (besides 'be very rich so that I don't have to deal with them'). And that makes everything else just a little bit lower-stakes.

Comments

[green_knight]

That makes tremendous sense to me. (The publishing industry is failing almost everybody right now; man-bites-dog stories notwithstanding). Not in the least because I have a habit of projecting a lot of hopes on This One Thing, which, when it fails to come off, is devastating to a disproportionate degree.

Toxic workplaces and not being able to fully relax in your home (because things might break and make it unlivable-in, or it might cease to be your home at your landlord's whim etc.) are major stressors; I wish you all the best in fixing both.