owlectomy: A squashed panda sewing a squashed panda (Default)
[personal profile] owlectomy
The nice thing about having a relatively close-knit group of classmates in my MFA program is that I don't have to feel alone in things like angrily staring at an essay for four hours without doing any work on it, or having no idea how to complete an assignment correctly, or being continually consumed by fear or self-doubt.

I think I sound sarcastic, but really I'm not. I went all the way through undergrad feeling like the only confused and incompetent and flailing person. I mean, my grades said that I was doing okay, but I assumed that this was pity and grade inflation, and it's only in retrospect that I can see that my pretty good grades were pretty good grades that I actually earned. (This is partly because I spent my sophomore year in Japan and thus went straight from 100-level classes to 400-level classes, straight from Intro to Korean Culture to Let's Talk About Semiotics and Postmodern Theory in Japanese Cinema. Flailing resulted.)

But we are in fact all in this together; we are all trying hard at things that are actually hard; and you have to realize that you can't actually be held to a standard of impossible perfection when so many of your classmates are smart and talented in different ways but not a single one is impossibly perfect.

(The impossibly perfect ones got into Iowa Writers' Workshop.)

The actually cool thing about this, though, is that when you stop thinking of yourself as confused and incompetent and flailing, you start thinking of yourself as somebody who can help out all the other people who are flailing just as much as you are.

(no subject)

28/2/17 07:00 (UTC)
littlebutfierce: (10 things win)
Posted by [personal profile] littlebutfierce
when you stop thinking of yourself as confused and incompetent and flailing, you start thinking of yourself as somebody who can help out all the other people who are flailing just as much as you are

Ooooh every now & then I feel like this, momentarily, about swing dance, heh. It's a v. nice feeling to be able to help out/have something to offer!

(no subject)

28/2/17 23:45 (UTC)
meaghansketch: A self portrait of the author (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] meaghansketch
I am right there with you in this right now... Flailing around but even though there are people who are so so good in my class, I can still see stuff in their shots that they missed, and they see stuff in my shots that I missed... And yes, we are all feeling like we are just barely hanging on (at least I think so)

Profile

owlectomy: A squashed panda sewing a squashed panda (Default)
owlectomy

April 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
232425 26272829
30      
Page generated 28/4/17 14:05

Disclaimer

All opinions are my own and do not reflect those of my employer

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags